First Off Let Me Introduce Me...

Who am I? It is the words that run through your head the moment you wake up and look in the mirror. On your first day of primary school when you are sat on the carpet in a circle and asked to tell your four year old class mates your name. It is the nervous reply in an interview when the words, "tell me something about yourself". They are the three words everyone needs to know the answer to but is scared to find out the truth.

Well first off, you need to begin to feel comfortable in who you are and who you are becoming. If that is putting on your favourite face of makeup, or wearing that outfit that makes you feel strong. JUST DO IT! Over the years, I have realised that to find out who I am, I need to but my mind at rest and make yourself feel comfortable. School years where tough for me, I have to admit that. Walking in the school gates felt like a nuclear mission everyday. Was my hair that slightly bit too greasy, or was my foundation that little bit to orange. If I wasn't that so called word, "PERFECT" you where most certain someone was going to point it out. What I am trying to get to is, for 5 or so years having girls constantly cackle on my flaws planted that seed of self doubt about my body and my appearance. But I have come to the conclusion that those roots to that seed need to be harvested and they need to be dug up. As if in your mind you label yourself as beautiful no-one can adapt how you think. For me now its the ability of being able to go to work with naked face and still smile. Or leave the house with wet curly hair. I am happy with my body and I am happy with who I am which gives me the confidence to shop for clothes I like and not just the ones I will be able to find in my size.

Growing up my weight was a huge tie down for me. Me and my family always joke about the time my nan told me I wouldn't fit into a rubber ring in the swimming pool, and that was the trigger for my weight gain. But in fact, writing to you now I still couldn't pinpoint that moment when I began to gain weight. I always joke around saying, "I would rather be fat and happy, than skinny and sad!". And truth be known, to this day I would still rather walk around as a size 16 with a gleam on my face, than a size 8 with a face like thunder. I am by no mean saying that I would say no to dropping a few dress sizes, but I have become comfortable with who I am!

From primary school I would always use the three words, LOUD, CONFIDENT, and OUTGOING to categorise my personality. But at the ages of ten do you really know who you are? Looking at my life now I would never use these to describe my self. I like to take the back seat in life. I like to watch how others see the world and how others tackle the games life throw at them.

I suppose what I am trying to say is I am just like everyone else in this world. I have insecurities and flaws, I have struggles and weaknesses. But from this blog I am trying to see the world from a different light, see the challenges from my life in a different way, make that perfect smoothie and share it with you and just have fun with what life has to throw.

Sometimes you just need to Leap With Joy xxx